Friday, June 12, 2009

Dead Alive

So this is Sam. This cat is 19 fucking years old and COMPLETELY DEAF, but brings me a baby bunny to show how sick awesome he still is. He looks like the Terminator. He probably just T-1000ed his look at that bunny and it jumped up into his mouth.
Mice are one thing, but now I have to deal with the unbearable cuteness of this:

It's busted though, and I'm sure it's going to die, so I make a little hospital in a shoe box and wait. Except it doesn't die. It actually seems to be getting better. Now I don't know what to do because I don't want to raise a bunny but I also can't bring myself to drown to this little thing, even though it's busted and suffering. Amidst this dillema, while calling manly men like Brent and Emil to help me make a decision about life, I hear a bunny scream.

Not to be outdone, Claudia, my cat, brings me a SECOND baby bunny. I now have two bunnies in a box and two very proud cats that want me to love pet them for these accomplishments.

In the end, I decided to turn the box on it's side and set in back into the woods. In the morning, Bunny #1 was dead in the box and Bunny #2 was gone. In this story, I am imagining that Bunny #2 stayed with his sister so she didn't have to die alone. That bunny then hopped off and, unable to locate the nest from whence he came, is currently learning how to grow up the hard way, but in no time will be the most bad ass motherfucking rabbit and will come back and kick Sam in the teeth for what he did to his sister.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dead Prez(ents)

Claudia killed me a chipmunk today.