Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Do you remember the first time you puked? I do. Not baby spit up, etc... But as a human being.
I didn't know what was happening! I didn't even know that it was possible to have stuff come BACK out of your body. I had no idea.
I know what throwing up is now, that it can happen to people, animals, words ("word vomit"), maybe the orgasming penis could be considered as puking if you want. Point is, lots of things have liquid-y substances forced out of them.
But I don't know this at all. Never heard of it. Never saw it. Didn't think it was a thing.
So I wake up, in what I perceive to be "the middle of the night", but it's probably like 10:00, considering I was in bed at 7:30, right after the theme song to Jeopardy!, which was my ritual lullaby before bed. La-la-la-la..... I'm definitely wearing footy pajamas.
It's the dead of night to me. I wake up and my arm is all wet.
"What the fuck?
What is this shit on my arm?"

So I don't know what puke is right? And I don't know what this is, or why I'm wet, so it certainly didn't come out of me.
I walk to the door and puke a little. Oh what the fuck. I'm really scared. I must be dying. Out to the living room, with my parents on their respective couches watching TV. They are confused. I'm never out of bed. Before anyone can process anything (Like why is she awake, and is that vomit slinking down her pajamas?) I say one word.
The word to start every childhood sickness from then on: "Moooooooom!, immediately punctuated by "BAAARRRRFFFFFF!!!!"
And here I thought I was just going out there to ask them what was up with that smell in my room and did they maybe leave a bowl of soup in my bed, cuz it just dumped on me.
Nope. Full on upchuck. All the muscles in my body working against me to heave every ounce of not-quite-digested food back out and on to the carpet. Food can come back out?? OMFG!

I called my parents the other night, and asked them if they remembered this specific time, and could offer anything else to add. Of course they didn't. It is only important to me. Hank just says "I remember you puking A LOT!".

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