Monday, September 28, 2009

Part One: In which the Dead Body of a Car is Discovered in an Abandon Lot

-Let’s say for example, you’ve known me at some point within the past five years, you’ll know that I drive a big fat red Buick. This Buick is named Karen. (The Yeah Yeah Yeahs were in their heyday at the time of purchase.) Now what’s interesting about this car is that I’ve driven a fucking lot in this thing, major road trips and plenty of back and forths.

I’ve been away from this here because in a summer camp with 150 staff members, there’s two functioning computers. One of these hellish “computers” is a Mac, which is creepy and ugly. The glorious ebony tower in the city of Dell is where I want to go and there’s always ALWAYS a Hungarian sitting in front of it, changing the language of facebook and never NEVER changing it back to English.

So the car. I’m leaving camp the next day. Now I’ve noticed that my steering wheel is having a hard time. So LB and I get into our friend Lee’s roof and windowless Jeep. I’m sitting in the lap of a muscularly pitbull. No, he’s not sitting in my lap, I am sitting in his. I’m a writer. I know what I’m doing. After our delicious ice cream, (Thanks, Lee) I pick up a $4.00 bottle of power steering fluid. Back at camp, as I’m pulling the car out of the lot, to get to the Maintenance Shed, I suddenly can’t turn the wheel at all, it’s spinning right round, baby, right round.

Now, LB has fallen in love with a boy at camp. Being Scottish, her non-transferrable flight home the day after camp is forsaken. She’s just not going to go. Her and I are going to drive to Pittsburgh to see this boy, because after all, life throws you shit like that sometimes and you’re in your early twenties, so you are impulsive like that. Fuck you, Hollywood, this is my story.

The very last night of camp is a free for all. Free of kids, Free alcohol, free food and free sex from whomever has dredged their desperate ass through the summer without a sorry and regretful hook-up. (Some people enjoy this!) I however, end up wasted in a flower bed bawling because my new boyfriend had to leave early, and is not currently at the party. And not the cool bawlin’.

So the car. Karen. In the morning, as it turns out, the reason the wheel was spinning around and around is because when the motor and the transmission fell out, it ripped the power steering out. The motor and transmission FELL OUT. As in: on the ground. As in: a pile of junk. When the A Frame rusts through, it drops. And everything is was holding in, drops. It would be like if your skin got too thin and burst open. There’s nothing else holding your guts in, son. If that goes, you’re fucked.

That's the corner of the A-Frame on the ground.

And now that I’ve promised this epic road trip to LB, we are both fucked. And possibly stranded in the Adirondacks. Although it’s good this hadn’t happened while we were on the road because it probably would have killed us. Really. Terrible, terrible image.

1 comment:

  1. I can't wait to read the next chapter! Do they find LB's Steel city love? Does Karen's spirit get absorbed by the mountains or is it just a car? What the fuck is Caito gonna drive now?