Monday, February 9, 2009

Betrayal II

So I grow up a little and I'm 10 years old! 10! The best!
I've somehow made friends with a girl Mackenzie, who was in my girl scout troop, but way cooler at school. And by some coolness god, I am invited by Mackenzie to her house after school. The house is literally within view of the school.
Eating gushers for snack--- OMFG!

So we take a walk to the woods nearby (is "woods" too hick?). Fine. We traverse the FOREST nearby where the family has built the mother of all forts. I mean, there were three tiers on this thing. It was like the fort from Jack starring Robin Williams. Also starring Fran Drescher, Jennifer Lopez, Bill Cosby and Diane Lane. What a line-up!
"You got the zactly disease"
"It's where your mouth smells zactly like your butt!"

And the lead kid in that film --God! Adam Zolotin was a CLOSE second to Yeah Yeah from The Sandlot in my heart. I would have done anything to have them as boyfriends.
Ok I just imdb-ed them both and Marty "Yeah Yeah" York is still superior. Shit. They are both fine!

I also signed a Marty York fan page guest book.

So Mackenzie's treehouse. Is huge. And different colors.
We are hanging out and having so much fun that we both have to pee but can't break the fun spell by going back to the house. She tells me to pee off the side of the fort.
So here's what I do: I stand up and try to piss frontways, like a man, off this thing, which is very tall. And most of my piss is still in the treehouse in a puddle in front of me. And don't I look over and see Mackenzie, with her butt hanging off the side and peeing, DOWN, like a toilet. And doesn't her OLDER BROTHER walk up minutes later to which Mackenzie yells to him that I pee standing up and that I've peed all over their wicked boss treehouse.
Way to have my back, bitch!
Fast forward 10 years.
Phrank Martian will tell you that the my most sexy moment was peeing on a fire at the lake, standing up and facing forward. So, my first go at it wasn't a success, but I can put fires out whilst lisfting the old skirt now, Mackenzie.


  1. There are notable times of pride of my friends I have from throughout the pissing out a fire is most definitely one of them. I never knew the back story. Man, these betrayal stories are devastatingly awesome to read! And I tried emailin' you, but, I'm in Philadelphia until Saturday if yer around at all!

  2. Oh my god Caito. This could be the most uplifting and hilarious thing I've heard/read all day.